like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
