bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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