Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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