She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
