I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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