She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
