So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
