I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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