I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
