You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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