I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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