So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
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