apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
