need another drink. this is the easiest way
I have demons in me.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
