That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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