no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize