And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
