Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Randomize
