Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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