Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
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