Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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