hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
