Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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