NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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