your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
is that a dick in a sweater?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
