accomplished twins. life is a go
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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