yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Randomize
