Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
