Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
