i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Randomize
