I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
