she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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