I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize