i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
