youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
