We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
