absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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