spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Who died my cat blue again?
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
My feet surprised me
Randomize
