Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
