Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
