Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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