Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Randomize
