By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
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