wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
