are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize