chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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