She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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