I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
