There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
