Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
