Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
