youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
i believe in u and ur pee
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
