I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
be right there i have to get my cape
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize