Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
