: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
