at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
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