i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
