This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
