I look better un-naked...
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
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