I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
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