All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
